Assignment # 2- Cultural Expectations

I have an instinct to look back and sometimes even stare back when someone is looking at me. This instinct to react outwardly did not fare so well in Malaysia, where women are conservative and shy (at least the majority). After a few incidents of stare battles, I had to learn my instinct away, and learn a new one- Don’t stare.  Really! They just do not get ‘What are you looking at stare.’ So, the lesson learned was don’t look back if you are being looked at or face the consequence- the stare battle.

One of the most exciting events is the taxi ride. They pick up that you are a foreigner. They also pick up that you may have been here for a certain amount of time. Being an Asian myself, they feel that they can talk to me freely about my personal life. They ask every question regarding my marriage and when I reply I am not married or not intending to get married any time soon, they insist on giving me marriage advices. One taxi driver insisted for me to take his advice after one of his passengers got a husband (after following his advice- I think it involved something that has to do with a witch doctor). The other however had very sharp and interesting comments for me when I told him men can cook better than I can. He insisted cooking is in my innate ability, an ability every woman is born with. He also insisted that men who cook in the kitchen are most likely to be homosexuals. (Sigh). And, when I do tell them that I am married, their reaction was- your husband let you go away on your own?!!!!I would never let my wife or daughter travel alone!!!!! (A big sigh) Now I really don’t have a solution anymore.

I am just glad that I could walk into IPPF and say good morning without facing those particular consequences. It also has a very different culture in comparison to the streets of Malaysia. Its culture is a fusion of European and Asian. While it seems to have a more flat and horizontal structure, there exists tell tale signs that it is indeed vertical.  But, things like that give a different take on life. They make me realize that no matter where you are and where you are from, there exists the same thing. Yes, the cultural may be a little different from here and there but there are always things that don’t change.