Assignment # 2- Cultural Expectations

I have an instinct to look back and sometimes even stare back when someone is looking at me. This instinct to react outwardly did not fare so well in Malaysia, where women are conservative and shy (at least the majority). After a few incidents of stare battles, I had to learn my instinct away, and learn a new one- Don’t stare.  Really! They just do not get ‘What are you looking at stare.’ So, the lesson learned was don’t look back if you are being looked at or face the consequence- the stare battle.

One of the most exciting events is the taxi ride. They pick up that you are a foreigner. They also pick up that you may have been here for a certain amount of time. Being an Asian myself, they feel that they can talk to me freely about my personal life. They ask every question regarding my marriage and when I reply I am not married or not intending to get married any time soon, they insist on giving me marriage advices. One taxi driver insisted for me to take his advice after one of his passengers got a husband (after following his advice- I think it involved something that has to do with a witch doctor). The other however had very sharp and interesting comments for me when I told him men can cook better than I can. He insisted cooking is in my innate ability, an ability every woman is born with. He also insisted that men who cook in the kitchen are most likely to be homosexuals. (Sigh). And, when I do tell them that I am married, their reaction was- your husband let you go away on your own?!!!!I would never let my wife or daughter travel alone!!!!! (A big sigh) Now I really don’t have a solution anymore.

I am just glad that I could walk into IPPF and say good morning without facing those particular consequences. It also has a very different culture in comparison to the streets of Malaysia. Its culture is a fusion of European and Asian. While it seems to have a more flat and horizontal structure, there exists tell tale signs that it is indeed vertical.  But, things like that give a different take on life. They make me realize that no matter where you are and where you are from, there exists the same thing. Yes, the cultural may be a little different from here and there but there are always things that don’t change. 

Assignment 1- Reminiscing Kuala Lumpur

I am writing this retrospectively and hopefully I would be able to paint a full picture of my experience in Malaysia. 

MALAYSIA- my first ever international experience, my very first travel to a place where I have no immediate friends nor family, my very first job in an NGO (IPPF-ESEAOR). My job there was to do advocacy research on SRH. I have to admit, I had to google SRH before I went for an interview. That was how inexperienced I was about Sexual and Reproductive Health. I can say this much, I was really stepping into what was UNKNOWN and ALIEN for me. 

Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia- wikipedia calls it muddy confluence. The country wasn’t exactly what I pictured from those poetic words. Kuala Lumpur or simply KL is a city transitioning into a developed area. It has paved roads, high end luxury stores, and almost everything I have access to in Canada. In any case, I did not see the muddy roads nor children running around on the residential areas as I have expected. Instead, I saw high rises, condos with pools, and rush hour traffics that stretched beyond the eyes could see. I also saw a lot of foreigners. 

After all, it is relatively easy to get around in KL. Almost everyone speaks English. Any English speaking person can pick up Bahasa Malayu very quickly. There is a developed transit system comparable to TTC operating in KL. The buses are frequent, and the trains stations always notify the passengers of when the next train would be arriving. Taxi is an alternative for those who don’t want to take the public transit. While 99% of the taxi will use the meter, they may choose to take longer roads and or add charges if you are unaware foreigner. Of course, there are always those who would try and charge you a set price (set wayy above the actual price). But, the worst is they can refuse to take you at all or suggest that you go a different destination simply because they do not want to make a U-turn, they want to earn more, or there is really bad traffic congestion. I can say I am very glad I’ve never encountered those problems in Canada. 

Despite the development, KL has no sidewalks and street crossing in certain areas. A lot of the places are developed for cars and cars only. Cars are cheap, and the government finance and subsidize them willingly, that is if you are a Malaysian citizen. They are even Malaysian car companies for a country so small in size. For the immigrants, majority opt for motorcycle (they sort of look like a vaspa with manual transmission). They are a cheaper, and faster alternative to cars. They can whiz pass people and traffic. They are everywhere and ideal for getting out of rush hour jam. Of course, with that much traffic, things can get dangerous. Yet, there is no traffic and accident records. And sadly, Malaysia is not known for its traffic laws and regulations. 

Yes, every country or city has its areas in need of improvement. But, no one can deny that KL is the hub for a lot of things. Air Asia’s (the biggest budget airline in Asia) hub is located in KL. You can fly to each country in Asia for a little over a hundred dollars. You can get any fast food and any designer items you could wish for (if you can afford it of course). Of course, the staple over there is curry and fried fish. The mamak stalls that sell them are everywhere. Malaysians, if you don’t know them already, are known for two things- their love for food and their love for football. I have seen countless polls during the World Cup season to figure out which one would take number one spot. Some may say shopping is also a passion for many Malaysians.

For me, I had a love affair with all the things about Malaysia except missing sidewalks (as remarked by google maps), and having to haggle over taxis.